Wait…Is Self-Acceptance, Self-Compassion and Viewing your Body from a More Neutral Perspective Even Possible?
Unless you’ve managed to stay away from the internet for the past decade, you’re probably already aware of the endless self-help articles, blog posts, and videos preaching the importance of practicing self-acceptance. Despite this, many of us still struggle to attain this zen-like level of being. Is it even possible?
Working as a therapist who helps clients work through body image issues and low self-worth, I understand the struggle of navigating through the maze of self-help advice, especially concerning self-love and body acceptance. It can feel overwhelming and frustrating, leaving us wondering if true transformation is achievable.
Trust me, if I had a magic solution to achieving unconditional self-love, I’d be a millionaire! However, what I can offer are seven easy exercises that you can implement each day, aiming to plant the small seeds that may bloom into greater self-acceptance, compassion, and self-love. Keep reading below to learn how you can start taking these actionable steps today!
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Monday: Practice Body Neutrality
Body neutrality is the practice of acknowledging and accepting one’s body without attachment to appearance-based value judgments. It emphasizes focusing on the functionality and sensations of the body rather than its physical appearance, fostering a more neutral and compassionate relationship with one’s body an inner-self.
Here’s how to practice:
- First, find a quiet, comfortable space with a full-length mirror.
Next, take a few deep breaths to center yourself before standing in front of the mirror. - Gaze at your reflection without judgment, adopting a neutral and compassionate mindset.
- Now, observe your body as a whole, focusing on its shape, size, and posture without attaching positive or negative labels.
- Now, acknowledging your body with curiosity and acceptance, redirecting any negative thoughts or judgments.
- Affirm the functionality and strength of your body, recognizing its abilities and resilience.
- Finally, appreciate your body for the journey it has carried you through, offering yourself kind and compassionate messages.
Tuesday: Practice Gratitude Journaling
Gratitude journaling offers a valuable opportunity to shift our perspective and direct our attention towards the things we appreciate. It’s not only effective in fostering gratitude but also in reframing our thoughts about our bodies!
Here’s how to practice:
- First, set aside a few moments each day to reflect on aspects of your body that you are grateful for.
- Next, write down three things you appreciate about your body, focusing on its capabilities, resilience, and how it serves you in daily life.
- Now, challenge yourself to go beyond appearance-related traits and focus on the functions and abilities that bring you joy and gratitude.
- Finally, regularly revisit your gratitude journal to reinforce a positive relationship with your body and cultivate appreciation for all it does for you!
Wednesday: Engage in Self-Compassion Based Meditation
Self-compassion meditation helps us to cultivate kindness and understanding towards ourselves, by fostering acceptance of our imperfections and challenges. By nurturing a compassionate attitude towards our bodies, it encourages us to embrace them with kindness and understanding, leading to a more positive relationship with ourselves.
Here’s how to practice:
- First, find a comfortable seated position, close your eyes, and take several deep breaths to relax.
- Next, repeat the following phrases silently or aloud, directing them toward yourself:
- “May I be kind to myself in moments of struggle or pain.”
- “May I accept myself just as I am, with kindness and compassion.”
- “May I recognize my worth and value, regardless of external judgments or expectations.”
- Now, allow yourself to soak in feelings of self-compassion and acceptance as you repeat these phrases for several minutes.
- Finally, open your eyes and take a moment to notice any shifts in your thoughts or feelings, acknowledging the power of self-compassion to cultivate inner peace and acceptance.
Thursday: Practice Holistic Attuned Body Movement
Holistic, attuned body movement encourages us to connect with our bodies in a deeper, positive and more mindful way, focusing on how the movement feels rather than its outcome. By shifting our focus from appearance based goals to the sensation and joy associated with movement, it helps us to cultivate an overall state of acceptance and appreciation for our bodies, leading to healthier relationships with ourselves!
- First, try to shift your focus away from exercise as a means to solely change your body, to viewing exercise and movement as a form of self-care and self-expression that’s fun, enjoyable, and feels good!
- Next, choose an activity you enjoy! Instead of forcing yourself to do exercises you dislike, explore various forms of movement until you find activities that resonate with you.
- Now, focus on sensation, not outcome. Shift your mindset from achieving specific fitness goals to simply enjoying the experience of movement in the present moment. Let go of the pressure to perform or achieve a certain look!
- Now, try embracing variety by incorporating a wide variety of movements into your routine, that feels safe and comfortable for you, in order to keep things interesting and engaging.
- Finally, practice mindfulness while you move by cultivating a sense of presence and awareness during movement, paying attention to your breath, the rhythm of your body, and the sensations you experience without judgment.
Friday: Practice Setting Boundaries
- First, identify any external triggers, starting with specific triggers that exacerbate feelings of self-hatred or negative self-talk. These triggers may include certain people, situations, environments, or even social media content that makes you feel insecure, unworthy or overly critical of your body.
- Next, once you’ve identified your triggers, take a moment to reflect on how they impact your mental and emotional well-being. Notice how these triggers make you feel and how they contribute to feelings of self-hatred or low self-esteem. Acknowledge the toll that these triggers have on your self-image and overall sense of worth.
- Now, with a clear understanding of your triggers and their impact, it’s time to set boundaries to protect yourself from these triggers. This may involve establishing guidelines or limits around certain people who say hurtful things to you or illicit unpleasant feelings and emotions, situations that illicit emotional distress related to how you feel about yourself, or behaviors that contribute to your feelings of self-hatred. For example, you may decide to limit your exposure to certain social media accounts that promote unrealistic beauty standards or overly restrictive diet focused content.
- Once you’ve established your boundaries, it’s important to communicate them clearly and assertively to others. Be direct and specific about what you need in order to feel safe, respected, and valued. Use the DBT, DEARMAN skill in order to set boundaries with others surrounding how they communicate with you.
- Now it’s time to enforce your boundaries! Setting boundaries is only effective if you’re willing to enforce them when they’re crossed. Be firm and consistent in upholding your boundaries, even if it means having difficult conversations or making tough decisions. Remember that you have the right to prioritize your own well-being and protect yourself from harm or negativity!
- Finally, surround yourself with environments and individuals who support and affirm your worth! Seek out relationships, messaging, social circles that uplift and encourage you, rather than tear you down or make you feel inadequate. Surrounding yourself with positivity and support can help counteract the effects of triggers that negatively impact your mental and emotional well-being, and helps to create a safe space!
Saturday: Identify and Challenge Negative and Unhelpful Thought Patterns
This exercise helps you to practice becoming more aware of your thoughts by noticing how they influence your perception of your body and self-image.
Here’s how to practice:
- First, set aside some time for quiet reflection, and pay attention to the thoughts that arise when you look in the mirror or engage in activities that trigger negative feelings about your body.
- Next, throughout the day, jot down any negative, unhelpful or distorted thoughts you have about your body and self-image. Be specific and write down exactly what you’re thinking, without judgment or censorship. This will help you identify recurring patterns and themes in your thought patterns.
- Once you’ve identified unhelpful distorted thoughts, challenge them by asking yourself critical questions. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’m so ugly,” ask yourself, “What evidence do I have to support this thought?” or “Is there another way to interpret this situation?”
- This process of cognitive reframing and restructuring can help you gain perspective and reframe negative thoughts in a more balanced and realistic way.
Sunday: Practice Radical Acceptance
Radical acceptance is a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy or DBT skill that is used in order to prevent pain from turning into suffering through acknowledging and accepting reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. It involves fully embracing the present moment, including difficult emotions, experiences, and circumstances that we cannot change, without trying to control them. Radical acceptance allows us to let go of the struggles we cannot change, allowing us to find peace and clarity in accepting things as they are.
Here’s how to incorporate Radical Acceptance into you body acceptance practice:
- First, understand that physical attributes, such as the way we look, our size and shape are often outside of our control.
- Next, explore the internal and external reasoning behind why we often feel pressure to present our bodies and ourselves in a certain way that’s aligned to please others.
- Practice acknowledging and accepting the reality of your body, weight, and appearance as they are in the present moment, while trying to adapt a non-judgmental, body neutral stance.
- Finally, try incorporating core mindfulness skills into your practice by approaching negative thoughts with compassion and non-judgment, while focusing on living fully in the present moment!
While there are no promises that engaging in these steps can magically shift the way you view your body or self-perception overnight, by dedicating a few minutes of time each day to follow these practices and remaining consistent, you can begin to cultivate greater compassion, awareness, self-acceptance, and even self-love in your daily life!
Do you need guided support surrounding healing from disordered eating and body shame that are the result of narcissistic abuse? The Mindfulness Space is here to help!
Stefanie Lawson is a licensed therapist with nearly a decade of clinical experience and owner of The Mindfulness Space therapy in Greensboro North Carolina, where she maintains specialized education and training in treating the underlying depression, anxiety, stress or unresolved trauma that often leads to eating disorders and issues concerning body image dissatisfaction (i.e. Body Dysmorphic Disorder) in adults and transitional aged teens (older teenagers who are transitioning into adulthood).
Schedule your free 30 minute consultation call with The Mindfulness Space today to learn more about how we can help you!
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