5 Tips to Overcome Negative Self-Comparison on Social Media!

One of the biggest concerns that I often come across as a therapist who works with clients who experience body image dissatisfaction, is how they can begin to stop negatively comparing their bodies, and their lives  to others on social media!

And believe it or not, this is something that a lot of people, including myself, are either currently struggling with, or have struggled with in the past.

Because of that, I wanted to share 5 tips that may be helpful in managing negative self-comparisons  on social media.

1. Remember that even the most natural looking content and images we see on social media can be highly curated and provide a very unrealistic perspective!

People are more likely to post their best  and most flattering photos or video takes on the internet! We rarely see what ends up on the cutting room floor, giving a false illusion of perfection!

I once heard somebody compare Instagram to a digital version of a lifestyle magazine!  Photos can be highly curated, as well as edited, manipulated, retouched, color graded and everything in-between!

Remember, there is so much more that usually goes into  what appears on your feed!

2. Try  following more accounts that present authentically on social media!

Please understand that it is perfectly fine to follow our favorite influencers, fashion and beauty pages, on social media; However, if you begin to realize that following those individuals or accounts lead you to make negative comparisons about yourself, it is absolutely okay to limit how much you are watching them! As previously mentioned, images that we see via social media and even information is often highly curated, edited or scripted in some way!

Following more influencers who present authentically, and create content that lifts you up, educates or motivates you in some way, also helps to create a more balanced and realistic perspective on your feed!

3. Focus on your own progress in order to avoid comparison traps!

All too often, we find ourselves looking at other people’s social media profiles, whether it be friends, family, or even strangers, and we begin to negatively compare ourselves to them or compare our lives to their lives! 

Before we know it, in comes the chorus of negative thoughts flooding our minds and telling us, everything from, “I’m a failure” to “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not pretty enough,” or  “ My life is terrible!”

When we notice that we’re negatively comparing ourselves to others, try the following…

1. Practice showing yourself kindness and compassion! Imagine somebody that you have a great deal of compassion or admiration for. Maybe a loved one or even a child. How would you speak to them if they were experiencing the same feelings? Would you speak to them harshly or with kindness and compassion? Now imagine that the loved one is YOUR inner child! Speak to your inner child with nurturing kindness and compassion!
2. Next, when you notice yourself beginning to fall victim to negative comparisons, try gently challenging those negative comparisons with more compassionate, and realistic ways of thinking about yourself and your situation. I.e. (Negative thought:) “I’m a failure.“ (Response:) “Not at all! I’m in a better situation now than I was a year ago and I’m continuing to grow!“ (Negative thought:) “I’m not pretty enough!“ (Body Neutral Response:) “My body works hard in order to help me to do everything that I need to, and that’s what matters!” (Additional responses:)  “I always receive compliments on my eyes!” “Beauty can also be subjective and not always based on physical attributes, but also on one’s character, confidence, charisma and connection with others!”

When it comes to our lives, try to only measure yourself  based on where you are now with carrying out your purpose, and achieving your goals verses where you were previously! 

Don’t forget to celebrate your progress, no matter how big or small it appears to be! It’s all relevant!

4. Remember that it’s okay and even beneficial  to take breaks from social media when needed!

Sometimes it can be beneficial and even therapeutic to step away from our devices in order to reconnect with our sense of self! Whether it be taking the time we need to reconnect with our goals and purpose for life, connecting with our therapist in order to work on our mental health and well-being, or just taking a break to relax and engage in enjoyable, physical, interactions with others offline! Studies show that this helps to increase our serotonin levels, dopamine levels and overall sense of happiness and well-being! Remember that social media will always be there when you get back!

5. Talk with a licensed therapist in order to discover and work through the underlying psychological and emotional factors that contribute to our relationships with our bodies and how we feel about ourselves!

Sometimes this may look like unpacking and working through childhood traumatic experiences, such as verbally abusive comments from family, feelings of depression and low self-worth which may have resulted from childhood bullying, or working through unresolved hurt from unhealthy relationships that have been internalized. 

Your therapist can help you with reframing those negative internalized beliefs about yourself and learn new ways to work towards self-acceptance, such as learning to show yourself compassion and viewing yourself through a more neutral lens!